Spirit Week at Hogwarts
by Jaulli Bass
Summary: Dumbledore organizes 'Spirit Week' at Hogwarts... what could be worse! Chaos ensues and students loathe it (its like regular highschool all over again! RR.
1. Poster Boy for the Poster

It was the beginning of what was to become the sixth year, even more soon to be seventh, at the life-threatening school (i.e. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry). The students had become restless and bored after the same you-know-who and boy-who-lived fiascos for the last five years. What they needed was something exciting, something fun, sure the possibility of dying was a risk enough, it was something the wizarding world took for granted, that it was so easy to kill yourself. Dumbledore's attempt at creating a school newspaper had ended up worse than the school's exchange program to Germany, where it turned out they had exchanged for a group of five full-grown vampires, yet fared better than the attempt at student tutoring. Actually, comparatively, it had turned out better than most of his schemes, including implementing a school government and at adding another wizarding sport to the school as it quickly became apparent that the students really didn't mind having only one small highly selective group of exclusive semi-athletes, as they didn't actually do much physical exercise, as they just sit down the whole time.

Dumbledore's 'quest' to create a safe yet fun-filled week for his students led to the creation of Spirit Week at Hogwarts. Since being in the Magic World, Dumbledore and his colleagues were unknown to the disastrous effects of the so-not-fun-filled week at regular high schools around the world which usually ended with most of the students staying home 'sick', however since Hogwarts is a boarding school, this lame excuse for everything school related was easily to be bypassed with the help of the nurse whose name is not important enough to remember, although it will come back to haunt me.

Dumbledore giddily posted this new week agenda all over the school on brightly colored paper which ranged from hot pink to an even more masculine pale purple. Each day of the week, of which there are five days!, were organized by one of the heads of house with the help of their prefects and the last day, being Friday, was organized by himself. Friday read to be announced as Dumbledore didn't want the others to steal his ideas. He kept his master plans locked in a safe behind the hidden panel on the side of his desk facing the northern wall of his oval office.

The poster read as follows:

HOGWART'S FIRST-EVER SPIRIT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Organized by each house in alphabetical order)

MONDAY: The theme is tropical beach day! The morning will consist of classes outdoors and a barbeque on the lawn. There will then be various inter-house competitions such as tug-of-war over a swamp, the potato sack obstacle course, improve synchronized swimming to music, a prize for the best costume, a house cheer contest, and conclusively a relay race around the pond! (Participants are reminded to sign-up with their Heads of House at least 24 hours in advance.) The evening will be finished with a career planning seminar and a debate with Cornelius Fudge and Professor Dumbledore on whether or not He-who-must-not-be-named actually has returned. The floor will be open for questions after.

GO GO Gryfindor!

TUESDAY: Immerse yourself in your inner beauty! Morning is pajama day with classes beginning a whole hour latter! (Breakfast will still begin and end at the same time due to S.P.E.W. labor contracts.) At Breakfast, Miss. Gloria's Beauty Palace will be providing the school with free instant facials and similar serums. Lunch will include toenail painting and free pony rides. There will be a race to see who can run around the lunch -room the fastest with cotton balls between their toes, the winner will receive a bowl of non-fat, sugar-free, 0 calorie CANDY! (Courtesy of Weasly's Wizarding Wheezes) Evening activity will include a modeling competition sponsored by IMMA (Inter-Magical Modeling Agency), and winners will be ranked, with the winner getting contracts and walking away with 100 points to their house! 50 points will go to second place, 25 to third and 10 to the honorable mentionees.

Good-Luck! Hufflepuff is H-O-T-T HOT!

WEDNESDAY: Class will be better today! There will be a no-learning-allowed rule passed for the day! Teacher will have to play games of the class's choice! (Must pass judgment for suitability from said teachers.) At breakfast you will have to opportunity to sign-up for candy-grams! (5 knuts each, proceeds go towards expanding the library's rare collection of trashy wizard romance novels.) These will be dispersed throughout the school during the day. The girl and boy who receives the most 'Admirerer's Hearts' (a kind of candy-gram-treat available) will win the titles of King and Queen of Hearts (for each year) for the day, and will wear them to dinner, where they will be treated as the King and Queen (surprise!). A masquerade dance will then ensue! Prizes for best costume and best dressed couple etcetera, there will also be door prizes and SUPERLATIVES!! (Note: Voting will take place during breakfast, lunch and afternoon snack!)

LET THE CAOS GO! RAH RAH Ravenclaw!

THURSDAY: The day will begin will an all-out food fight in the cafeteria followed by a trip to Bath to visit the baths. Each year will leave through a different portkey; to be posted that morning. Lunch will then be served in the common rooms where students will supposedly prepare for an afternoon of all out pranking; Mr. Filch requests that no magic actually be used in this procedure. Classes will proceed as scheduled; yes teachers can and do give homework. Dinner will end with a bake-off and then a pie eating contest; points to be awarded. Come out to support your house if you're that cool.

SHUT-UP! Slytherin!

FRIDAY: to be announced

On evenings with continuous time activities, curfews will be as follows:

First & Second Year: 9 00 PM

Third Year: 10 00 PM

Fourth & Fifth Year: 11 30 PM

Sixth & Seventh Year: 2 00 AM

(Your non-voted-for therefore non-representative House Prefects will be in charge of events, if there are any questions, they are to be directed to them, but at chance that they too will have no clue, which is very likely, it is suggested that you raise your hand and someone, probably a teacher, will assist you in any way possible. Exits are located at the back and front. In need of exiting, the floor will light up and guide you there.)

DETAILS TO BE POSTED! DEADLINE: FRIDAY!

Dumbledore grinned at himself. How devilishly smart of him to distract the students from the real world. Hee hee hee, he thought to himself with that 'fairy'-like twinkle in his eyes. They would be so excited for the week! Just thinking about it made him have to go to the bathroom.

He thought the Slytherins could have put a tad more effort into THEIR day; they had looked extremely peeved when they had submitted it to him. Nevertheless though, it was posted that Monday; Monday being the Monday before the event was actually supposed to take place; so yes a week before (this week not being in school terms so therefore consisting of SEVEN days).


	2. Day 1 Monday

Right the Disclaimer which I keep foregetting: I do not take credit for J.K.Rowling's Harry Potter... I don't get why we have to do this if we don't claim it as original fiction?!

These short day entries will have to do primarily with Harry and his gang/peeps/homies/um friends cause the book is named "Harry Potter and (fill in the blank)" sooooooooo... without further ado, I, present Spirit Week, a comedy or a horror story from whichever way you look at it. CHEERS!

Day 1 – Monday

Seeing as this day had been organized by multitudes of 'brave, courageous and loyal' prefects from Gryffindor, the day was guaranteed to follow every rule, every overdone outdoor sports day, and to be educational, yet end up immature... think of Ron and Hermoine.

The day began with with all the prefects standing outside on the cold morning in their bikinis, leis and grass skirts, yet still with enthusiastic smiles on their faces. In their hands they held boxes upon boxes of face paint and fabric in their house colors, ready to attack the rest of the school into acting enthusiastic.

Harry went to breakfast that morning by himself; Ron and Hermoine were busy with 'prefect' stuff. He thought prefects were stupid lackey's for the teachers of to which none of the prefects would NEVER ever admit to being. He thought that his cereal tasted worse without anyone to talk with. Only Harry would ever think of that because Harry was a self-centered teenager, like everyone else out there within the demographic of thirTEEN to nineTEEN. So as we all must agree, Harry's life was soooo much worse than everyone else's.

Harry donned red swimming trunks, a red vintage t-shirt, the red knit sweater from Mrs. Weasly, oh and red tevas, and made his way incredibly slowly out the large doors because he didn't want to be the first one there, and everyone shows up at least fifteen minutes late for everything, except Potions.

When he arrived, he was relieved to find that he had come out with the majority of the school and joined in the complaining on the cold weather.

After one minute, which seemed like two hours for the two or three hundred odd students of Hogwarts, Professor Dumbledore magiked his voice so that it was louder than Dobby, and announced the various house teams, "Seeing as there are six prefects in each house, there will be six teams for each house, and as there are about seventy students in each house, ten for each year; there will be approximately 1 to 2 student from each year on each team. Meaning, there will be twenty-four teams, and two teams of teachers. The teams will be as follow, G-1, being the first Gryffindor House team, will be led by the House Captain, and will be meeting in the far corner of the field in THAT direction, yes just follow the large red sign that says G-1, and it will be composed of...." Dumbledore continued in this manner until every last name was listed, still leaving people not knowing where to go nevertheless.

Harry was relieved that Hermione would be his 'team' leader, G-6, but this was just his initial reaction, which changed after he met up with Hermione and the rest of his group.

There, right in front of him, he saw Hermione, Prefect Hermione, wearing a red bathing suit, a red cocktail dress, red Mardi Gras beads, red fishnets with red striped socks, and sparkly red shoes remnant of a Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz Halloween costume gone horribly wrong. Harry however just grinned and bore it, after all life could be worse. Of course the grin quickly disappeared when he found out who the rest of his team was. His team consisted of students such as himself, Patricia Stimpson (7th Year), Kenneth Towler (7th Year), Colin Creevey (5th Year), Ginny Weasley (5th Year), Natalie MacDonald (4th Year), Euan Abercrombi(3rd Year) and various eleven and twelve year olds that Harry doubted were even potty trained.

Harry stared skeptically at his close friend Ron Weasley who was trying to disentangle three first years from his feet. Ron had since dyed his hair black and denounced his family, moving out into the wizard world and getting a job. He also dressed all in black. As he said it was because he was mourning the death of society, but the common feeling was that he had had it up to his neck with the pressures of being a Weasley, and felt that by not ever wearing anything red, it would somehow separate himself from his family whom he found both embarrassing and superior at the same time. While Harry was staring meanlisly at Ron's black hair, his group had since then began marching off to compete in the tug-of-war against one of the Hufflepuff teams. Harry quickly caught up to them by following the cheer that Hermoine was leading her team in.

When they got to the swamp for tug-of-war, a gnome standing on a small roman-column-like-pedestal directed them into proper tug-of-war formation. Harry was situated as the anchor, being the largest on the team, and then it just went down from there right up to the tiny, no miniscule little first years. The Gryffindor team G-6, easily defeated the Hufflepuff team H-1 which came as no surprise as asoon as H-1 reached the swamp the scampered off in fear of getting their carefully picked out yellow costumes dirty (Hufflepuffs were pansies.)

A loud horn bellowed at the end and beginning of each activity, signally time to move on. Their, their being team G-6's, next event was the synchronized swimming program against Slytherin. Both teams were sprayed with a potion meant to make them water-proof and unsinkable, but nothing could stop them from getting wet when the two teams started an all out fight in the lake. It stopped when the horn blew, and both teams regretted having to walk around the rest of the morning sopping wet. This was when Harry truly appreciated the fact that Hermione actually paid attention in any of their classes.

Their next even was the potato sack obstacle course, which Harry refused to participate in, complaining that the sacks would irritate his skin and that they were more suited for 'smaller' participants. This excuse worked and Harry lay in the sun for the next thirty minutes or so hoping that he wasn't getting sunburnt.

The last horn finally sounded and the school congregated on the grassy hill overlooking the lake to watch the relay race. Harry (now sitting next to Ron) and Ron's mouthes then dropped open when they saw eight mean lean swimming machines stand up to compete (two, one girl one guy, from each house). It would be lying to say that the only thing the guys could look at were the hot girls in bikinis, but these muscular ladies were more likely to make them run away screaming like a girl to hide under their dormitory beds.

In the end, Ravenclaw came in first with Hufflepuff in second. Gryffindor and Slytherin were both disqualified for fighting, although even with that they still crossed the finish line before the other two houses.

Lunch was then served and the chefs, i.e. the teachers, reviewed the costumes, choosing one from each house as the winner. Hermione won for Gryffindor, Zacharias Smith for Hufflepuff, Luna Lovegood for Ravenclaw and Pansy Parkinson for Slytherin (although Harry could not quite make the mental connection between frilly pink lace and Slytherin but in the end, from Ron's speculations, decided that she won for her house based on the fact that she was the only one to wear non-everyday clothes).

After lunch Harry and Ron trudged back up to the dormitories to wash off the red face paint and to then go to afternoon classes, which luckily and coincidentally were double potions, which seems to be the class most often frequented in the novels. When they got there they joined Hermione on the right side, or sunny side, of the class.

The door promptly slammed shut after Malfoy came in, with no concern for the two Gryffindor students who were about to come in (early). When the two, the two being Lavender Brown and Pavarti Patil, entered they were both docked "five points from Gryffindor"; the snazzy catch phrase of Professor Snape.

The class proceeded as was to be expected; Snape gave the potion assignment, Snape asked a question about the potion, Snape ignored Hermione, Snape docked Hermione five points, Snape tortured Neville, Snape docked Hermione another five points, Snape tortured Harry, Snape gave Draco five points, Snape gave Harry another F and finally Snape dismissed the class, with a twenty inch parchment on the potion for the students who failed the in-class assignment, ten minutes after the bell.

After class there was the dreaded career planning seminar, but luckily for Ron and Harry, they fell asleep when they went to put their books away and by the time they woke up it was finished (right that happened). So Harry and Ron went to visit Dobby with Harry under the invisibility cloak, as since Ron was a prefect he was supposed to be monitoring for students not at the seminar, and then they returned back to the common room to eat it up large. Ron, knowing that he was on the verge of becoming the first prefect to ever become 'de-prefectified' didn't care and invited the rest of the students hiding in their rooms to come eat, get drunk and be merry with them which ended up with Harry and Pavarti being no where to be found for a time period of roughly half and hour (but Ron didn't notice since he was on the common room's patio smoking up).

At sometime between six and seven dinner started, not that anyone from the Gryffindor common room went with the exception of Ron who was incredibly hungry, actually that would be an understatement, he was starving or might I say ravishing from a little too much whoo whoo. At eight o'clock the evening debate began. The older kids actually cleared out leaving only the first, second and third year students who didn't really understand what it was all about.

The debate between Fudge and Dumbledore went as expected, well minus the picket signs and violent protests which were predicted by the Daily Prophet, but speech wise it went in a straight line. The students battered Fudge with tough questions which he could not answer, well did not have time to answer, before various anonymous Slytherins jumped to his defense, well not really but it sounds good to have inter-house rivalries.

It actually turned out to be a more humorous evening than expected. Exhibit A for both sides was Harry Potter, and Exhibit B was Lord Voldemort. Harry enjoyed saying a couple of words on behalf of the issue, smiled for the photographer and 'silencio-'ed Ron when he started yelling at the medieval armor. Which was not to mention Hermione's hissy fit afterwards directed towards both Harry and Ron for 'irresponsible' behavior, going on about all the hard work she put into it etc. etc.

At approximately half past twelve, Harry found himself listening to hard rock on his headphones in bed thinking about his unfinished homework.... But since that is now the next day... it will be continued in the next aptly named chapter... Day 2!


	3. Day 2 Tuesday Morning

This chapter will probably have a number of O.C. s... so I claim the rights to them and their uh names I guess. Ok enjoy! And it will begin where the last chapter left off....

....

At approximately half past twelve, Harry found himself listening to hard rock on his headphones in bed thinking about his unfinished homework....

It was the one good day that he had chosen to not do his homework unlike most of the others which ended in detentions and tut tut ing from Hermione.

He woke up at the same time as he did every morning, a painfully early 7:45, to get ready for breakfast at 8:00. He took a shower and put on clean pajamas since it was pajama day, but the idea of walking around in boxers all day didn't appeal to him in the cold weather. So he trudged down to breakfast with Ron and Hermione in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, but when they got to the Great Hall, it was different. They were bombarded with a Great Hall decorated in pink, sparkles, fluff and mirrors.

They were handed out facial creams and such and Hermione found it necessary to then spend the rest of breakfast lecturing them and the rest of the house on society's obsession with beauty and the vanity of such and such and self-respect and self-confidence and other self indulgent whatnots.

Since classes began a whole hour latter (!!!!!!!), there was an hour in between breakfast and class, which was originally miscalculated, however was then supposed to be used to beautify each other. Sure thought Harry. He would beautify himself by getting another hour of sleep in.

Morning classes went as they were supposed to however people found multiple excuses so as to sleep in class especially after Professor McGonagall assigned the class to transform their goose into a down pillow during Transfigurations.

Lunch seemed like a joke. The Hufflepuff prefects ran around making sure everyone was 'comfortable', and the other prefects ran around frantically trying to find contestants for the modeling contest. Things actually became serious and students actually started signing up after Draco and the Patil sisters signed up. Then it became real.

In the frantic rush to sign most of the school up, of which half would get cut in their first walk, Hermione, Ron and Harry were all signed up along with the rest of the school at this chance to get a job without any real work, along with the like of contestants such as Eloise Migeon (kicks), all of who had to model standard clothes provided by by IMMA. First half would be cut after a quick interview, and then another half after a private walk, leaving the remainder (1/4 of the original number actually) to walk in the Great Hall infront of the rest of the school. The competition became rough after the competitors started fighting for beauty products so as to possibly help their prospects no matter how slight the improvement, and for most beauty products could not save the multitude of them from their inevitable elimination. You can't teach tall.

With this chaos going on, the toenail painting ambush was forgotten, but only for a while. The winning-savvy students made sure their pedicures were perfect and then the girls all enthusiastically participated in the race around the Great Hall with cotton balls between their toes in hope of loosing those few extra pounds of fat. In some 'contestants' cases however they could have done with one hundred rounds of the lunchroom... minimum.

OK! There is a lot happening this day... and something more obviously has to happen!! I'll post ASAP. Muahahaha (just felt like doing that for jokes).


	4. Day 2 Tuesday Evening

Harry found himself longing to be back in class as he stood nervously stood in front of an elderly witches and two blatantly gay wizards. He was wearing their standard white t-shirt and grey shorts.

The first wizard, in a shirt so pink that Harry was happy they had made them take his glasses off, suddenly said "Now Harry darling, do you work out? Teehee." no take that back, he giggled it.

"Uh yah." Replied a rather dumbfound Harry, for whatever reason he was dumfounded. It was either the shock to him that homosexuals actually existed in the wizarding world, or that he was deep into this guy's rippling muscles.

"And how tall are you then? O. And your weight please?"

"Uh. I don't really know."

"Oky doky kiddo. You're in! OMG!!! This is so exciting isn't Danilo?"

Harry didn't remember anything else that had happened. He definitely didn't end up back in whatever class it was that he was supposed to be having at the time. Time passed, and Harry found the list of who the suckers who were supposed to walk with him. Ron made it, but Hermione didn't. Harry decided he had better find her, she'd need consoling; the over-achieving, coffee-addicted bitch would probably be bottling all her emotions into studying for a test in two months in the back of the library where the sun doesn't shine.

Harry trudged through the stone halls, in a daze. He forgot where the library was, so it took him a good half an hour to get there. Harry also forgot about the Marauder's Map until he got there. He decided that he was smoking way too much pot, or maybe just too often, or maybe it was just one or two bad joints.

Sure enough, Hermione was reading a book; sure enough it was a book bigger than her (pre)verbial head.

"Hey Mione."

"Oh hullo Harry. How are you doing?"

"Uh ok." said Harry, waiting for her to fish them out of the awkward silence.

Hermione flipped the page of her book and continued reading. She did eventually look up at Harry and cleared her throat loudly (one could assume that she was approximately half way down the page).

"Well Harry, thanks so much for caring.", she said, her voice dripping in over-obvious sarcasm "I think I'll get over it. Perhaps I shall become anorexic and then sue them for incongruous sums of money claiming emotional abuse and destruction of private property."

Harry really didn't get the 'private property' bit, but just nodded his head anyways.

"Just pretend you know what she's talking about. Girls like it when you listen." said the wise little voice in his head.

"Girl?" Harry's other voice asked back.

"Well young lady then if you must be so correct.", shot back the slightly peeved and far too proud little voice, just pretending that Harry didn't mean what he actually meant, "Just do it ok. It's fool-proof."

"Harry you totally didn't get that one did you?!! Are you even listening to me?!?! You're just like the rest of them!" squealed Hermione.

"I told you it wouldn't work. Its Hermione, she's no fool." said Harry to the little voice in his head, followed by a chuckle.

"Harry this isn't funny!!!!", said a rather pissed off Hermione who had now stood up and emphasizes this statement by banging her fist against the table.

"I wasn't laughing at you. You should just chill out Hermione. Let's get out of here."

"NO!"

"Excuse me Miss Granger, but due to the unnecessarily disturbing vocals which you are generating, I would like to ask that you leave this library and pursue your conversation and work in another part of the school, as you are disrupting the quietness necessary for other students, as you yourself must understand and respect."

"Uh. Yes Madame." it was Hermione's turn to look dumbfounded. All these years she thought that she was smarter than the librarian! I will get her for this, Hermione thought evilly.

Harry and Hermione walked up to the Astronomy Tower. It was the favorite place of students to "chill", without supervision, or chance thereof, and do things that they obviously wouldn't do under said supervision.

Hermione plopped down on one of the sofas that had mysteriously, and illegally, been brought up to this rooftop. Harry figured that she must really have been upset because she didn't point out the fact that she would have to tell her head of house about the sofa.

Hermione just sat there consumed in her own depression. Harry sat down next to her and took out a joint. He looked at Hermione, wallowing in self-hate, and lit it.

He took a couple of puffs and then offered it to Hermione in a hand gesture. To his surprise she took it. To his even greater surprise she didn't throw it away but looked blankly at it and then at him.

"Harry, I can't.", she stammered, "If I got caught…"

"Then don't get caught."

Hermione looked back at the joint, ashamed, "I've never smoked though… I don't even know, I didn't even know about…"

Harry was inwardly smiling at the fact that he knew something she didn't. Actually when he thought about it she didn't really know a lot besides useless facts.

"Its new huh? Not knowing everything."

He took her hand and moved it up to her mouth.

"Now puff in, don't breath out, hold it in, its better." he directed. He liked being in charge, he liked being the teacher for once. Harry's mind obviously flashed to a dominatrix scenario, but flashed out of it because getting a boner would have been awkward.

Harry let Hermione finish that one by herself, he had one himself too.

"Harry, you have to teach me everything I don't know. I'm so stupid."

Harry knew it was probably the drug speaking, even if Hermione was thinking it, she would never ever have said it.

He shrugged it off.

"Lesson one." he said softly as he leaned in and kissed her.

He shifted closer to her and rubbed one hand on her thigh. Hermione groaned.

She wasn't a very good kisser. Harry realized that he was becoming rather immune to getting stoned, seeing as he actually noticed this, actually concluded that she may have never made out with a guy, let alone used tongue, and he actually couldn't have given a damn.

Hermione had now straddled him and Harry had both hand very firmly placed on her but.

"Harry, I don't know what this is… I have to… I need something…" Hermione droned quietly.

That was all Harry needed to hear.

He requested a blow job. Hermione said that she didn't know what that was, so he pushed her hand down to his cock. Hermione stupidly grinned and giggled and giggled and giggled and giggled and fell off the sofa giggling.

This all rather annoyed Harry right now. He was pretty fed up with her.

Harry went back to his dorm and took a shower. That was pretty nasty he decided. He had always considered Hermione to be somewhat ugly, so he considered the consequences of his actions, or her actions, and decided that he definitely would tell anyone, let alone Hermione. But he still wanted a blow job.

Ron in the mean time had been depressed too. Even more depressed than usual. Depressed that the gay guys had thought that him being all depressed gave him a cool look and got him into being a male model. "I hope that I don't turn out gay cause of this," thought Ron.

Ron considered slitting his wrists, a bit of pain to ease it. He also considered getting piss drunk and not being able to walk down the runway. He also considered telling his homophobic family who would drag him away from the school so fast he might have found it funny. Actually what did happen was that Neville had accidentally knocked him out with a spell when he was trying to get the Fat Lady Door to open up.

Ron woke up, only to not find himself on the stone floor where he remember being before. He was sitting in one of those leather twirly chairs with Danilo and Vin-scent standing over him applying his makeup and what one could categorize as 'fixing' his hair.

He was apparently in one of those infrequently used rooms at the back of the Great Hall.

Harry was there too. As were all the twenty so-called "winners". Among them was Malfoy, Padma, Lavender and one would assume there would be another fifteen students there too then.

Malfoy was currently chatting up a tall girl that no one had ever heard of before. She had legs that went on forever. Malfoy was joking about the large amounts of black eyeliner on them and kept rubbing his hand on his chest since apparently the two gay guys had forgotten to find him a designer shirt of any kind or knit.

The show went ok. No one fell. They all survived and people actually stayed, but on the other hand they were serving dinner at the same time. When it was done, as in when the deprived teachers had gotten enough photos of the half-naked students so that they could make an accurate descision as far as the contest went, the models had to go back and wash off the makeup.

Ron was the first to get out the rubbing alcohol.

"You think you could drink this?" Ron philosophized out loud.

"No way Weasle." sneered Malfoy.

"Why don't you piss off Malfoy.", said Harry defiantly.

"Why don't you let Weasle pick his own fights."

"You're going to fight him?"

"Of course not! I love Weasle!" chuckled Malfoy.

Harry's jaw dropped.

"Yeash Harry, why would I fight with Malfoy." piped in Ron, "Well I do like it when you get all mad Malfoy."

Malfoy laughed, and him and Ron fell into a corner lustfully making out.

"I would have never thought he was gay.", said the unknown girl from before.

"I know, he's so not his type. I'm Harry by the way."

"I know. I'm Parlione."

"Do you think you can drink rubbing alcohol?"

"No."

"I need a drink.", complained Harry pulling out a half empty bottle of vodka, taking a swig and passing it to his new friend Parlione.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

They were both still staring at Ron and Malfoy until Harry realized that he was trying to drink out of an empty bottle. He looked at Parlione, who turned her head up.

"Its empty." pointed out Harry.

"What'll we do?"

Harry put the bottle down and they sat down in one of those leather twirly chairs and started making out.

The time was 12:59:52.

Find out what happens in that last 8 seconds!!! Haha. Maybe something, probably nothing. Lol. I know that there was a lot of hooking up and whatnot but this is all purely sarcastic humour speaking. I'm kinda making fun of other stories, not really a parody of high school right now. The next chapter will be back in the proper tradition. I just wasn't in that cynical mood about school since I've been avoiding it for the last week (I was supposed to be there … but I wasn't O!).


End file.
